PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME WHAT IS GOING ON?

Don't kill yourself. It was a huge mistake but it's still a mistake. Things will change lots for the better when you see the beautiful baby! However things will get worse too! Life sucks you just have to deal with what you've been handed. But you do need to tell your mom before she finds out from someone else, it'll hurt her feelings and upset her even more! So good luck there's always a plus side to things!